One of my favourite places in Singapore (and there are very, very few) is Waterloo Street. On this short road paved over as a mall, sits a very popular Kwan Yin (Goddess of Mercy) temple, thronged by devotees daily.

Next to it, separated only by an apartment building, is the very popular Shri Krishna Temple. At the doorway of this Hindu temple sits a huge Chinese incense urn, next to it free joss sticks and a fire. As I sit and watch people go by, Chinese devotees stop one by one to light joss sticks and make an offering to Lord Krishna, and they often proceed into the temple to offer prayers to the various deities.

I enjoy watching tourist who have never seen anything like it before marvel at the sight of Chinese praying at Hindu temples. Many tourists, too, go in to observe and sometimes to partake in offerings.

It is with this in mind that I was reading the recent flurry of letters over the tissue paper incident, halal food and Perodua advertisement. There seems to be a great deal of intolerance amongst the various religious communities, not only with regard to inter-faith issues, but issues within the faith as well.

A wide range of reactions can be found, from the steadfastly by-the-book to the casually liberal. On neither side is there much understanding nor tolerance of the other's view. We are all to prone to knee-jerk reactions of indignance, such as that criticising the Perodua ad's otherwise good intentions, or of the Muslim girl's right to avoid touching a non-Muslim, or that of advocating a little leniency in halal food definitions.

'See All' is right in that many of us, whatever our faiths, have little understanding of the other religions practised by fellow Malaysians. There is a great deal of chauvinism and self-righteousness being perpetuated, I suspect, by the religious and political establishments.

As 'See All' says, little of significance has been done to foster not only understanding, but real tolerance and give-and-take between religions. There may be strict rules in Islam and Christianity for sure, as there are strict rules for Buddhists and Hindus and all. But there is no changing the fact that we all live and coexist in this country together, and there is a need to balance religious compliance with inter-faith sensitivities. Just as there is also a need, as a country seeking economic advancement, to balance faith and economy. A balance surely has to be struck.

One way to achieve this is by the guiding principle which all religions stand by, allowing the individual to make decisions based on the principles of compassion and logic within his own faith.

The individual should be educated to make choices that are thought out and considered, not act out of indoctrinated routine.

We do not live in a shell. The woman who refused to touch the Indian man's finger may one day find herself needing his assistance to save her life. I very much doubt she will require tissue if that were to happen.

Would she have compromised her faith by coming into contact with the man? It reminds me of a story which tells of the Prophet cleaning up after a guest who had defecated, much to the horror of a follower. The moral of the story was that spiritual purity was in the heart, not in the exterior.

It is shame that such wisdom is lost upon us in this day and age. In our desperate search for personal salvation we have forgotten our graces, the virtues of neighbourliness and the need for communal interaction.

To reach real interfaith harmony, the sort of Muhibbah that was a popular slogan in the 1970s, people need to be educated on one another's religious and cultural aspects, and people need to really care about each other's religious sensitivities.

On the reverse, we also need to be tolerant of other people's lack of understanding, and not alienate them for not observing your requirements. In other words, mutual respect is paramount to overcoming inter-faith differences.

The alternative is to continue to stubbornly pursue our own spiritual goals without regard for the sensitivities of people around us. Whether this will ultimately improve the person's spiritual life is questionable. What is certain, however, is that it will alienate him.

(By the way, this writer does not eat pork nor any food prepared with pork, does not eat beef, and is an aspiring vegetarian. Dining as a Chinese in Kuala Lumpur is a nightmare, but that is life. Sometimes one can get out of a situation just by graciously feigning lack of appetite.)