I read Wan Sou Hai's letter 'Ex-bachelor DAP deceived into marriage' (June 29) with great interest. While I respect his/her personal lifestyle as long as it does not cause harm to others, I wish to also share my personal experience as a family man.

I hope Wan Sou Hai would see that to be modern and free, we do not have to be legalistic and yuppily 'secular'. Do not laugh too much or too easily, adult lives are more complicated than legalism.

I had been a smoking, gambling and drinking bachelor. I met her in a pub. She was a singer then. After we married, she changed. She stopped smoking and drinking. She constantly advised me to do so as well.

At first, I resisted and hated her for it. But she was very patient. Finally, I saw her points. I have stopped smoking, gambling and drinking for 10 years now. I am now healthier both physically and psychologically. We have healthy children as well.

Looking back, I am sure I was wrong when I got angry with her. We met as people living unhealthy lifestyles. After she had changed for the better, she wanted me to be good too. I am forever grateful to her.

There was no deception on her part because she shared a positive change with her beloved husband.

Let me get into a little politics now. I think PAS leaders are genuinely concerned with the moral corruption in our society, especially gambling and drinking. These are the moral concerns that exist even in Western democracies.

But PAS leaders must be patient and tactful. Why not come to power first and raise the sales tax on gambling and alcohol, so that it becomes an expensive habit.

Taxation is a more modern form of policy instrument that helps to correct unhealthy lifestyles.

Politically, DAP is not wrong in disagreeing with some of PAS' proposals. In democracies, all parties survive and prosper only with voters' support. However, DAP must always bear in mind that, in opposing some of PAS' proposals, it must not be seen by non-gamblers, non-smokers and non-drinkers as lobbyists of these vices.

There are many, many non-Muslims who are against drinking, gambling and smoking. If DAP appears to be like secular yuppies, it may lose many votes.

For example, my non-muslim neighbour told me that DAP leaders' public utterance seem to reflect that the party would sacrifice social and moral order for the sake of "Chinese" populism.

DAP must strive to show that they represent cultured non-Malays and non-Muslims, not a minority of gamblers and alcoholics.