I just can't enjoy my meals anymore, not since those people were arrested under ISA. Each time I take a sip of the hot beverage that my wife makes for me, I think of the ISA detainees, of how they must be drinking, at best, water straight from the faucet.

When I go briskwalking in the evening, I think of them being caged in small cells. Even my cat is better off.

When I go to sleep at night, I think of the intimidation, the mental and physical torture, the loneliness they must be going through.

I feel guilty. I'm sure I won't be able to look their spouses and children in the eye, for being the quiet, helpless coward that I am.

I admit, I am scared. I am scared that, if I speak up, I myself will be detained. I am not strong, and I am sure I will 'turn over' when faced with pliers and rubber hoses after being in solitary confinement for seven days.

They are heroes. They knew exactly what was going to happen to them, but they went ahead and fought the evil of the Umno government anyway. They were telling the truth, and people were listening. Prime Minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad had no choice but to use the despicable Internal Security Act.

I read an article written by one of the wives, on how she couldn't believe that people were going on with their lives as if nothing had happened.

Well, although, on the outside, I act normal, I feel really down. I am ashamed to be a Malaysian. But I am not as brave and as selfless as those heroes. They are not forgotten.