In early 2006, I resigned as the United Nations Secretary General's Special Envoy to Myanmar [Burma]. By that time, I had been to Myanmar 14 times, stretched out over a period of four years. The first visit was in 2000 when the United Nations sent me there with a delegation on my first mission. It was then that I met Aung San Suu Kyi and the Myanmar Secretary One, Lt-Gen Khin Nyunt. It was he who arranged for me to see her. It was the middle of June, the monsoon period, and very hot and humid.

I was taken in a government car to University Avenue where Suu Kyi stayed. We waited in a room on whose wall hung a huge painting of Suu Kyi's late father. I was aware of the significance of the moment as I sat there. I knew that something very special was about to impact on my life. After a period of waiting she emerged, cool and composed, in a traditional blue blouse and sarong, with bunga melor (jasmine flower) in her hair. Call it a grand entrance, if you like. She was polite and dignified, placing me on her right as she sat with me on a semicircular settee, her back ramrod straight. It was one of those settees without backs, the kind that tends to make one slouch if one is not careful, and it made me painfully aware of my own posture, sitting beside her with her back straight as a dancer.

Subconsciously, I felt obliged to match her posture, losing the battle, however, and slouching as the discussion went on. There was no question about it she looked very attractive, what with the scent of the melor in the air at close quarters. At an early part of my conversation with her, I said, "You are not only courageous but also attractive." It was obviously an unthinkable faux pas. But despite what I had heard and read about her from reports and earlier encounters between her and a UN representative (I was forewarned that she was glacial), we got along very well from the start. It helped that I was clearly open, held no preconceived ideas and did not make judgments on her. By the end of a two-hour chat, during which time she did not bend at all (perhaps symbolic of her uprightness in terms of her principles), a basis for an ongoing relationship had already developed.

Neither here nor there

From the beginning, Suu Kyi was interested in understanding how far the UN would go in helping her and the NLD [National League for Democracy] and how far Asean was willing to stick its neck out. On Asean, her basic instincts can be said to have been proven right. Asean has been neither here nor there in its interest and commitments. Constructive engagement was never really constructive, and there was no sustained engagement. As for the UN, I went beyond my brief in order to open up the issues for us to re-examine together. She believed wholeheartedly in the rule of law and hoped that the UN would equally commit to that in helping Myanmar. In that sense, the UN has done less than deliver.

In most cases, I had two meetings with her per visit - once after seeing the government and hearing their views and once again after speaking with the government. What did we talk about? Our discussions covered, obviously, issues of reconciliation, the rights of various ethnic parties, the future role of the military, etc. But the times with her were very rich. Conversation meandered to other subjects like life, culture, humanity, law and rights. The Lady (Suu Kyi is affectionately referred to thus across the country) really can talk. She impressed me, surprised me, that despite her years of detention she had managed to keep track of virtually everything, including UN developments and those in the world. She even told me that she had been re-examining the Myanmar constitution in readiness for the difficult negotiations ahead toward national reconciliation and democracy.

At that time, Khin Nyunt was in the ascendancy and understood the necessary ties between Myanmar and the UN better than the rest of the Tatmadaw [the military]. Khin Nyunt also did his best to make me see and understand what the military leadership was contributing to the country. I had to sit for hours listening to this minister or that minister about the achievements of Myanmar - how many roads, how many bridges, etc. Khin Nyunt also allowed me to speak to the senior government servants, including the Foreign Ministry, of course, and I grabbed the chance to say to them, "What's wrong with your diplomatic skills, even Cambodia can get more money than you. North Korea is more successful than you in gaining assistance to the country. But you," I told them, "What's wrong with you?" This embarrassed them a bit, which was my purpose.

So Suu Kyi was happy and grew to hope for results from my visits. I had done my homework and discovered that the past UN representative had had more difficulty talking to her than to the government in certain instances. Perhaps my straightforward style put her more at ease. Whatever it was, there was a developing rapport between us that seemed, perhaps in her mind, to give her permission to just talk to me honestly about the problems that plagued her and her beloved country. So she talked about her struggles, what she had been doing, when she came back from England, what happened to her, how she was reluctantly, as she said, induced into the struggle for democracy but just to visit the country of her birth, also because somebody was not well in her family. So it was not as if she was intending to follow in her famous father's footsteps. But it was clear that she was, certainly, her father's daughter.

Queen's English

I do not speak Burmese, but for my purposes it was unnecessary to know the language, for Suu Kyi spoke impeccable English. In fact, if she were invisible on the other side of a room and you heard her speak, you would have thought that it was some English person talking. Imagine - the unbending posture, traditional dress, flowers in the hair, and then, the Queen's English - certainly a heady combination. And she knew it. That is why, together with the grand entrances and the wealth of her knowledge, she always made a huge impression. In fact, I once told her that if she ever became prime minister, she could give the other Asean prime ministers a run for their money debating democracy and development.

I encouraged, or rather, pleaded for Suu Kyi to find ways to talk to the military leaders. In turn, I pleaded with the government to speak to her. By my second visit, Senior General Than Shwe agreed that there would be talks between them and her, and that Gen Khin Nyunt would coordinate on the government's behalf. The talks did indeed happen between the two sides if not directly between Suu Kyi and Khin Nyunt. Curiously, she kept this a secret from me, and it was only many visits later, on the verge of her detention being lifted, that Khin Nyunt told me, even showing me photographs of her at dinner with the entire phalanx of the military. I was flabbergasted, and the next afternoon when I went to see her, I said that I had a bone to pick with her. It was only then that she revealed that there had indeed been a few talks but not at the right level, not with Khin Nyunt, not satisfactory. According to Suu Kyi, the dinner with the generals was in fact a monologue with the senior general doing all the talking.

Talking to the government was an exercise in trying to decipher all manner of statistics thrown at me, one after another - "we have built the 29th bridge, we have done this, we have done that," they would say. They were, after all, a military government and as such their minds worked on a different level. They saw it all purely as a matter of clear, planned objectives, as if good governance were merely a matter of moving tanks from one place to another. Only after these necessary introductions concerning the junta's success with achieving stability and order was I able to interject, to put in feelers and grope my way around the sensitive issues. Of course, in terms of statistics, what they said was indeed truethey had in fact built this road and that bridge, etc. But to what end?

The Lady and I (Pt 2)

First published in Irrawady magazine. This is an excerpt from Number One Wisma Putra published by the Institute of Diplomacy and Foreign Relations of Malaysia's Ministry of Foreign Affairs in 2006.