Yet another year has begun and as I contemplate embarking on targets set to be accomplished, an idea I have been harbouring over the past couple of years invades my plans and I find myself now in front of the computer elaborating the inner workings of my journey towards the decision to stay on in Malaysiaat least for the time being.

It's early in the morning with the air outside crisp and fresh. I like it like this, as I will be going for a run in a little while and not have to unduly worry about adverse man-made acts or natural catastrophes that may be presented in my path. Notwithstanding one of the worst crises that befell Malaysians in the form of a tsunami two years ago, even the ever-increasing crime rate has not deterred us from enjoying the security we feel living in this country.

Unfortunately, the uncertainty of our political climate does not seem to complete that sense of well-being. Now, I am not one who follows the political scene, nor have I even registered as a voter, so what gives me the right to voice out my thoughts of where this nation of ours is headed? Allow me to explain.

I come from a middle-class family, borne of parents who were civil servants. They played an integral part in the development of this country in its infancy. Their foundation and belief in the nation that had cradled, educated and given them unbridled opportunities was enough to ensure that their gratitude would see their service in the government fulfilled until they had reached retirement. Their patriotism was never in question and their commitment, bar none.

I, on the other hand, had to be educated by them overseas and later paid for my further education on my own by virtue of having a modest-paying but decent job and am presently in the private sector, which initially disappointed them as that move may well have been construed a traitor-like move. But, I ask you this - how else am I supposed to feel about what my priorities should have been then or what they are now? I did not have the chances that they had and made the best of what I had and am definitely comfortable with my present life, with no regrets about the decisions I have made. Even my parents have come to realise the path I chose is the right one.

Malaysian friends

One of my earliest childhood memories of friends while growing up in Penang in the early 70s, where my parents were posted, was of playing with our neighbours' children. They were a typical Malay family and at that age, not knowing the differences between race, class or creed, they were just another Malaysian family whom we accepted and whom, in return accepted us as fellow Malaysians. Later on, in Klang, similar interactions with Chinese and Indian peers continued and blossomed, even to this day.

Then followed a period in a Western country, when my father was pursuing his higher education, courtesy of our government. It was a nice place but it was not home. So, it was a homecoming feeling of sorts to be back in Malaysia and it was in Petaling Jaya that I struck up a unique relationship with two friends, a Malay boy Eddy and a Chinese boy Ken. We did everything together and went everywhere together and my father likened us to the '3 Stooges', not unlike his multi-racial friendship circle during his early days at Anderson's. Then came the time for the lot of us from our generation to pack off and go overseas for studies and dispersed all over the globe we were. Newer friendships were made and some of us came back earlier to serve in the government in various parts of the country, even in East Malaysia as was my case.

One cannot describe the feeling of returning to your homeland and living the life where you are actually placed in the working-class category and contributing to the community, as well as the feeling of having most of your old pals back when we all unwittingly came together again, at the same time in the same town, after 11 years of being away. Although newer acquaintances had been made along the way, the group remained close and it grew larger and more diverse and there was the general feeling of being accepted, even after some of us continued to go back overseas for further training stints or work. For this virtue to have been cultivated, we consider ourselves fortunate and thank our parents, for the values instilled, and the society we grew up in, for the tolerance it radiated.

Although the countries we were in offered fairly good prospects, we still felt like outsiders and continuously spoke of the good times at home when we met there and of our plans for the future when we returned. Ironically, as time went by, more and more friends decided to stay on in those countries for reasons associated with having felt more equal to other citizens there and wanting those equal opportunities for their children. And as even more time passed, they appreciated their resolve not to return here whenever they came back for visits and saw for themselves what has become of our once tolerant nation. What happened along the way? Was I so blinded by my quest of living the Malaysian dream that I inadvertently ignored what they suspected, and dreaded, would happen here in generations to come?

I just had to look within my family and realise that my sister, who grew up in a different generation with different societal interactions only a decade after me, has remained overseas since she was sent there to study and has relatively no contact with peers of her time here as most of her batch decided not to return home. And they have never looked back. I try to understand how they could not have enjoyed the Malaysia the way we did. The truth is, they never really had the chance. By their time, there was obvious splitting as early as in primary school and the different races kept to themselves. And even within the various religions, there was segregation surrounded by an air of discriminatory, restless unsettlement. So, I ask you this again can you blame them? They are not at peace here, as are a growing number of young parents who do not see a bright future in years to come.

Greater transparency

So, why am I still adherently comfortable over here then? Is it because of the knowledge that should I suddenly feel disappointed with the system one day, I possess the means and the choice of leaving and taking everything I have with me? Or is it because I see in my generation some resolve to continue to be as we were before? Things are getting more transparent nowadays, and the newspapers are proof of that (and I still believe this although a couple of them were reluctant to print this article on the basis of it being rather controversial!)

Going are the days when some crime by someone in power is initially reported, then suddenly fades away into oblivion. We now have the public demanding a follow-up of cases conveniently buried and people are even discussing political and racial issues openly without much fear of prosecution, a far cry from neighbouring countries where one would not even dare harbour thoughts of any negative sentiments pertaining to the ruling government. And then, there are countries where their original inhabitants live in fear of saying the wrong thing, lest they be labeled as being 'racists'.

And what happens over here? We are able to crack jokes and enjoy humourous anecdotes of cultural differences, increasingly apparent in plays that are enjoyed by many, that catalyse the tolerance of multi-cultural societies such as ours. You are comfortable with yourself only when you can laugh at yourself! We wear what we want and move in circles we choose to move in and yet, continue to respect the religious protocols of the others' beliefs. And the majority of us will not bow down and agree that questioning the unquestionable is not an option. So, are we blessed or what?

My parents, very proud of their Malaysian heritage, still have the Malaysian flag out on display with all its glory during the Merdeka week and this has been like a tradition at home for as long as I can remember. I, conversely, do not even bother to install the car flags and this goes to show how differently generations here perceive the manner of celebrating our Day of Independence.

Yes, we are all proud of how much Malaysia has achieved in the past 49 years but there are certain aspects that we could have done without, much to the amusement of foreigners. In particular, I wonder why we strive to have the biggest, longest, most unique this and that, which barely serve their purpose and eventually end up as 'white elephants'. Why do we need to waste millions on unnecessary projects that fuel our already over-inflated egos and false sense of accomplishment when there are many other deserving bodies that could benefit from a fraction of that money?

Do your bit

It may give others the impression that building a sports complex in a foreign country to train our athletes, who as experience found got spoilt rotten by monetary benefits, takes precedence over improving the quality of life and medical care of our own citizens in less fortunate areas and raising the standard of education of the younger generation, who incidentally will run this country later. Minus, of course, our infamous mat rempits (capital letters deliberately left out to stress their unimportance to anything remotely connected to productivity, save for them being commonly linked with household pests), snatch thieves and rapists (and budding terrorists - pray there are none, though), who are obviously disillusioned about their purpose of existence.

Hopefully, their symphathisers who make excuses for those mindless and barbaric behaviour, and in their profound 'wisdom' recommend the construction of special motorcycle racing circuits using tax payers' funds and blame women for carrying expensive handbags and dressing too sexily, be advised that in this day and age, common sense and decency still prevail.

I recently visited Eddy's family at their home up the road from my parents during Hari Raya and although they do not generally have an open house and their celebration is confined to immediate relatives, I was nevertheless treated as a member of their family. It was heart-warming to be there and despite differences portrayed by the different racial groups abound, some of us still enjoy the closeness within the cocoon of our yesteryears, where only physical differences between us exist.

We are not threatened by the opinions of fools who consider this act of racial unity a sin. Nor are we going to sit back and take at face value the explanations given when little action has been taken against sickening murders, sexual molestations against children and other similar untoward encounters occurring while immigrants are held in custody, harassment towards visitors by imbeciles claiming to have some connection to royalties just to name a few incidents as they are the very acts and cover-ups that portray us in bad light and ultimately, reserves our place in the Third World category.

I have already lost many an esteemed colleague (and friend) to the lures of a better life overseas and it is my fervent wish that we all wake up and get real to the fact that this brain-drain will continue unless something is done to change our rusted mind-set that nothing can be done and we just have to 'close one eye'. Let's face it, this country of ours belongs to no single race in particular it is ours and every race, every citizen, has and will have his or her own part in contributing to the mechanics of how Malaysia ticks.

By the way, the New Year resolution I made is to do my part and finally get myself registered as a voter. Likewise, fellow countrymen, do your part and give this generation the reason to unabashedly fly the Malaysian flag come its 50th birthday. Finally, as it is Visit Malaysia Year once again, can we do without the turkey issues?

PREM KUMAR CHANDRASEKARAN is a is a consultant psychiatrist with a private medical centre