COMMENT | Have we turned into a very sensitive lot?
COMMENT | Anything can be offensive. Any topic. Any conversation. Any comment. Everyone is offended by something.
Like the other day, when a man who lived in my neighbourhood told me that I was pretty but I would look better if I lost some weight, I was offended. I wanted to snap back at him and tell him that he looked good too but perhaps should consider a full facial reconstruction plastic surgery to look even better.
But I didn’t. Like most women who get hurt by criticisms about their appearance, I smiled and walked away and later crucified the idiot on every social media platform I have.
The thing is, bashing others when you are offended is well, offensive too...
COMMENT | Anything can be offensive. Any topic. Any conversation. Any comment. Everyone is offended by something.
Like the other day, when a man who lived in my neighbourhood told me that I was pretty but I would look better if I lost some weight, I was offended. I wanted to snap back at him and tell him that he looked good too but perhaps should consider a full facial reconstruction plastic surgery to look even better.
But I didn’t. Like most women who get hurt by criticisms about their appearance, I smiled and walked away and later crucified the idiot on every social media platform I have.
The thing is, bashing others when you are offended is well, offensive too.
For example, when my daughter was criticised about her complexion by some relatives, as they compared her tanned skin to her younger brother’s fair skin, she got offended and decided to “educate” them.
“My brother is fair because my mom is fair. I am darker than both of them because my dad is dark. My dad - your brother, is as dark as all of you. If only my mom had married someone fair, my complexion would have turned out fairer. Too bad that she married your dark brother,” she replied.
She did not only offend those who made the offensive comment in the first place, but also ended up offending her dad as well!
But this is exactly what our world has turned into – a very sensitive lot who are offended by anything and everything. But does that make one condone inciting hatred?
Nothing condones hatred. Nothing. Even hatred itself.
Chaos at the Parliament
Yesterday during the first day of the Parliament sitting, Baling MP Abdul Azeez Abdul Rahim mocked Batu Kawan MP Kasthuriraani Patto by saying “dark, cannot see” and had asked her to “put on some powder”. His comment was rude, insulting and offensive.
Kashturiraani and a few opposition MPs demanded the speaker Azhar Harun to issue a ruling on the unparliamentary remark. The speaker did not respond to their demands. His reaction to the matter was also rude, insulting and offensive.
While several opposition MPs demanded Abdul Azeez to retract his remarks, none of the Perikatan Nasional MPs responded. Their lack of reaction to the matter was also rude, insulting and offensive.
Following the incident, there were many angry status updates posted on social media platforms. One of them had this to say:
“This country is also built by dark-skinned Indians. I urge all Malaysians regardless of colour to condemn the remarks made by Abdul Azeez in the Parliament. It is embarrassing. It is pathetic. And those who laughed with him, you are all idiots of the highest order.”
Hate begets hate
Here’s the thing. We can choose to hate Abdul Azeez for his remarks. We can choose to hate Azhar for his lack of response. We can choose to hate the other PN MPs who did not budge from their seats. We can choose to hate everyone who thought Abdul Azeez’s remark was funny. But is hating everyone a solution?
If we choose to hate everyone and everything that does not fall into the perimeters of our beliefs, we could end up hating lots of things.
If you expect others to act and speak a certain way or assume others will be as kind or compassionate as you, if you’re offended when they don’t rise to the level of your expectations, you will almost always be offended or on the verge of it.
I don’t want to hate the man in my neighbourhood who commented on my weight. He is an idiot for being rude, insulting and offensive. He is an idiot for not being sensitive. He is an idiot for not knowing a better way to present himself.
Some people are just idiots but hating idiots doesn’t make any of us feel any better. Hate begets hate and that doesn’t solve anything.
Instead, allow people to be human. Allow people to be stupid. Allow people to make mistakes. Allow them to regret. Allow them a chance to improve.
Even in some cases where they have a proven track record of never improving, still, give them the chance to improve - because that is all we can do.
Meanwhile, we can put in more effort to gain empowerment by loving ourselves more because only love can defeat hatred.
