Over the past few days I've been reading the Utusan Group's answer to Harian Metro Kosmo, which runs headlines about api misteri (mysterious fires) and mak nyah (transvestites) IPTA rather than the more.. ahem.. serious issues of how BN won (yet again) in Sarawak (surprise surprise).

Kosmo has dedicated two tabloid size pages for SMS-an-issue. Basically readers SMS in with whatever gripe they have, and the paper prints it. It's quite addictive reading what people are bitching about not to mention somewhat anthropological in a sense; you know, tapping into the minds of the people who are able to hide behind some veil of anonymity. There is nothing like anonymity to bring out the true characters of people.

A recurring issue are complaints about PATI. Pendatang Asing Tanpa Izin. Illegal immigrants. The words thrown at this sub-section of our society today are rarely kind; often they are condescending, or downright mean. Crime is often attributed to them; as is noise, and a slew of other anti-social behaviours.

Back in the UK

Which reminded me of the asylum seekers' issue that is currently being bandied about in the UK. The fascist British National Party used this very issue to secure seats in the recent local parliamentary elections in some parts of the country. The asylum seekers are increasing crime rates, they shouted. They are taking your jobs and your council homes, they screamed at outraged lower class Brits. Are you taking this sitting down when the government doesn't care about you, came the incitement.

I remember a friend, who is Asian, relating to me how a neighbour of hers went all the way to explain to her why she was voting BNP: "It's not you or the blacks I am fighting against, it's the asylum seekers who are murdering our police officers." (A recent murder of a British female officer was attributed to an asylum seeker who should have been deported from Britain as early as 15 months before the fatality).

Strictly speaking asylum seekers and illegal immigrants are different breeds. But they are both groups of people seeking pastures anew; seeking a fresh start and a clean slate with which to live the remnants of their lives, and to provide a workable future in which they hope their kids would be able to thrive in.

It intrigues me as to why crime and anti-social behaviour is very quickly attributed to this section of our society today. Is there a natural selection issue here? That those who choose to flee their homeland, are the criminals and inhabitants of the lower moral echelons of society? It seems absurd that there isn't an honest hardworking soul in these people : choosing to uproot oneself from home to create a life in a different country, with a different climate, a different environment and undoubtedly, placing oneself on par with pariahs in terms of the societal structure all done consciously is not an easy thing to do. Still, there is the argument that if one has done nothing wrong, why would one flee? Something that holds more water if one is an illegal immigrant more than an asylum seeker, plus if you were fleeing from a despotic regime, surely you must be one of the good guys?

Or is it the media, with their hidden agendas, trying to create an issue when there isn't one? As one of my former bosses told me, sensate culture sells. You would buy more papers discussing api misteri than you would one that discusses the economy. Anything that stirs the basal emotions of people; that creates some sort of self-righteous moral outrage; that would certainly sell.

Our bigotry

It could also be this inherent racism in all of us. Our dislike for difference; now that we have been taught to live in a plural society, we can only cope with so much diversity. More meat thrown into the stew pot will just upset the balance of its flavour. It could be because they are easier to blame. Because the lack of an official status in a country may deny them some rights. It could also be because they are desperate. Anything goes when one is desperate; moral values be damned. Loving father can turn into manic monster when the right buttons are pushed we have all seen this many a time. Or it could be denial; our lack of wanting to admit that the bad seeds of society are not very much different, in essence, to who we are per se.

I sat down for a mug of teh tarik with my sister (Adik, not Angah) and her friends the other day. The talk of the town for them at the moment is who got into which pre-U / matriculation center, and for those who managed to secure a place into both an IPTA and an IPTS, the questions circulated around: which one?

And interestingly, there was one recurring theme - everyone wanted to go off to the furthest place possible. These kids, aged circa 17-18, one of whom is also my first cousin, are itching to leave home; and in true fashion, their folks are adamant that they stay as close to home base as possible. Cue age-old conflict.

I wanted to reason with them... I wanted to say, what is so bad about home? I miss Bangi every other day when I'm away (every other day because on the off-days I then miss JB - the heart works on a schedule); I miss the ambience, the food, the weird roads, the school run, the heat - ok maybe not the heat, but you know... once you start associating a place with home, there are a lot of romantic elements attached to it which you only realise belatedly.

And it was this 'belatedly' idea that stuck in my head as I was forming my sentences that made me stop and not say much. Because their parents don't quite understand why they want to leave home, and the comforts associated with it. But I think I do. And it's not because they don't love home or love their parents (although when you're 17, you'd be rather hard pressed to admit you do). I think it has a lot to do with the desire to spread one's wings and figure out - really, without any boundaries or restrictions - who you really are.

I think I've written about this often enough before : it's easy to have your minds made up or to act in a certain way when your folks or family are around to mould your thoughts and shape your movements. You've got to stand alone for a bit to see how firm the ground you stand on is. Get enough space to flap your wings properly, and then see if the pair you have would do you justice should you choose to fly solo. But I think we're all homing pigeons at heart. At the end of the day we all fly home - the challenge for parents when bringing up their kids, I suppose, is to make sure that whatever happens, on that compass in the hearts of their kids, true north is the nest from which they fled, at whatever age.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my holiday for the next few weeks. Yes, I'm back, but I'll be off soon. Such is the life of a nomadic research student.

IDLAN ZAKARIA wonders if she holds the world record for faking jetlag before one's bluff is called currently her record is 13 days, set in 2002.