COMMENT | During a debate on the Supply Bill 2018 at the Dewan Negara recently, Umno senator Hanafi Mamat recommended that the government provides new syariah-compliant uniform guidelines for female flight attendants serving the country’s airline companies.
recommended

According to Hanafi, the current uniforms for female flight attendants are too sexy and not in line with Malaysia’s image as an Islamic country.

"We are proud that Malaysia is an Islamic country with its own cultural identity, but when our flight attendants dress up sexily and disrespectfully, this will give tourists who use the services of our national carriers the wrong impression,” he said.

With Malaysia being the number one country in the world for Islamic tourism in the past seven years, attracting some 5.5 million Muslim tourists from around the world last year, I concur with Senator Hanafi that it is of great priority for us to keep our image as an Islamic country intact, and to ensure that our tourists do not feel "offended" by the sexiness of our aircrew.

While many may not agree with the senator’s opinion, as they see nothing sexy about our female flight attendants’ uniforms, we should be mindful to the fact that different people have different perceptions on what constitutes sexiness.

For example, while the good senator and some others may find the ordinary uniform of female flight attendants a turn on, some men may only find skimpily-dressed women sexy.

For some men, the sex appeal of a woman only increases with extra doses of durian. Maybe those who consume an excess of durian might even find the uniforms of Wanita Umno sexy… just saying lah.

Therefore, I totally understand the senator’s predicament, that affected him to a degree that he had to speak up in the Dewan Negara to request that the government evaluates the uniforms of female flight attendants.

However, one important matter which I would like to point out is that the senator seems to have made his proposal from a male point of view.

Clearly, the tourists flooding our beautiful country are made up of women as much as they are made up of men. While the senator worries about “offending” male tourists, he seems to have forgotten about the female tourists.

Surely, as an Islamic country, we would want to project our Islamic image to all our tourists, both men and women?

Therefore, I think it is of great importance for us to recognise what our female tourists would deem sexy too. In fact, I believe it is more vital to do so, compared to men.

Let me explain.

You see, although Allah has created both men and women with desires, but our dosage of sexuality differs greatly – as Imam Ali once said: “Allah has created human sexual desire in ten parts. He gave nine parts to women and one to men.”

I believe if the senator genuinely wants to uphold the image of Malaysia as an Islamic country, he should also propose that the uniforms of male flight attendants and male pilots be reviewed, for it is general knowledge that we women – what with our nine doses of sexual desire – do find them utterly, drop dead gorgeous.

So how do we reduce the sex appeal of our male flight attendants in order to ensure our female Muslim tourists are not offended?

Worry not – as a Muslim woman with a healthy libido, I have taken the liberty of listing down few suggestions which Hanafi can recommend to the government, alongside his initial proposal.

Here it goes:

  1. Male flight attendants should wear syariah-compliant uniforms that are not too tight, that do not expose the shape of their manhood and buttocks, especially if the latter is meaty and curvy, as this provokes women’s imagination (and boy, do we have great imaginations!). Airlines should also include some alternative uniforms, such as jubah and sarung.
     
  2. Male flight attendants should only be permitted to wear syariah-compliant perfumes, such as minyak atar (sandalwood perfume). Do not wear cologne and aftershave on duty, because most women find men who smell good to be very sexy and irresistible.
     
  3. Male flight attendants should behave according to the syariah. They must lower their gaze and avoid smiling at women, for scientific research has found link between seductive smiles and an increase in women’s libido. Airlines should also make it compulsory for male flight attendants with sexy smiles to keep facial hair (preferably untrimmed) to cover their smile.
     
  4. Male flight attendants should avoid making their voices heard by women, as it could trigger the sex drive of women, especially if one has a Joe Hasham-esque deep, sexy voice. In fact, the airlines should make it compulsory for their male flight attendants to learn sign language for easy interaction with women.
     
  5. Male flight attendants should wear syariah-compliant headgear, such as serban, kopiah or songkok. The airlines should also prohibit male flight attendants from going bald, or for that matter, from maintaining a good hairstyle – we women find both a major turn on.

By proposing a wholesome makeover for the male flight attendants and a uniform change for their female counterparts, I believe the government (under the guidance of the good senator) will be taking the first step into strengthening the image of Malaysia as an Islamic country.

InsyaAllah!

FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a growing media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a regular director, a struggling producer, a self-acclaimed photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.