In Kelantan, why was the young man given a summons/fine for wearing hot pants on his way to a futsal (definition: a nightly-small-field-after-teh-tarik-sup-kambing Malaysian soccer game) session, leaving him with possibly a hefty-dumbty 1,000 Ringgit or Kelantan rial, forced to go to a counseling session for violating morality by wearing-knee-to ankle-length hot pants, tempting other men in so leaving the poor, innocent, bewildered soul wondering if he should wear the Burmese-official-uniform-cum-Scottish-bagpipers-kilt-looking Malay fishermen fashion statement artifact fondly called the "sarong" or in English, the body-fitted-nice-lower-abdomen-Hawaiian Aloha-soft-silky sack, to his next futsal game?

Why, why, why Delilah, he'd sing in Kelantanese dialect when he leaves the court of the State Religious Department. Why does he have to give up his thousand-rial "piteh" (green bucks) when he is not as rich as the prime minster of Malaysia or Jay Techie Loh, the money-geek who was also a member of the Hong Kong mariachi band, Roth-Child-Yam Seng Band? “Why, why, why?” the man from Kelantan said. Thus sprach the ‘Oghe Kelate'.

His crime: Wanting to be as famous as Ronaldo. And the day, like any given day, was blazing hot. As hot as the top of the shaved bald hills of Kelantan, the hills hudud-ed via deforestation, causing major floods though not as big as in the times of Noah. Hills like 70s- TV star Kojak's head exposed to UV light from the surface of the sun.

Nobody told him to wear the abaya to his futsal game, not even in the writings of the Al Aqramul Mahdi Abuya that men need to wear the Bedouin robe when playing soccer. And imagine playing sepak takraw in such a modest outfit?

And he was not trying to tempt those weak in the Islamic faith. Who would want to see his bushy hair on his knee caps, he thought? In the Planet of The Apes or in a space tourist site and rest-stop of Spaceship Enterprise, where aliens and space migrants are a-OK-normal beings, maybe he is considered sexy-maxi as David Beckham and Mick Jagger combined.

He is not, that poor guy who is about to be counseled by the religious authorities.

Is there a sinister plan behind this? Something the country doesn't know? Like the mystery of the MAS flight MH370?

In contempt of futsal court

I'd like to have people offer explanations of this unfolding issue that is as mysterious as the story of a UFO that landed in Kota Bharu many years ago when I was perhaps as young as the man about to be sarong-ed for life, as punishment for contempt of the futsal court.

And isn't it premature and preposterous and profoundly pathological to say that him wearing ‘hot pants’ in a hot Red Indian Summer would amount to a hududable intention of - many years to come, as the Chaos Theory and Butterfly Effect would predict - contribute to the culture of moral degeneration in the Islamic state neighbouring Sin City of Golok?

Wouldn't it be? And would it not be outrageous that the poor and pitiful guy who also wanted to be Pele the Brazilian maestro, would also engage in an act that would outrage the modesty of the eyes of the pious and the anti-liberal piety?

Really? I fear if he does it again, he'd be banished to Muar, Johor and forced to work in a syariah-compliant laundromat. Like being exiled to the Gulag Archipelago, if one reads Solzhenitsyn. Just don't do it. Ignore Nike's advice. It’s not worth it.

Hello 1984

But really? Is this the kind of Malay society the followers of IS's Al-Mahdi want? A "1984-Animal-Farm-Handmaid's-Tale" kind of Malay-Muslim society?

Can we bend the rule for him? He only wanted to learn how to "bend it like Beckham". And he can't do it in a sarong. Unless the mad mullahs can demonstrate the moves and grooves.

Where are we going, as a multicultural nation? Inching towards the Islamic State? Embracing Talibanism? Fearing ourselves because, since the "Islamisation" projects of the 80s, we have failed to educate the children with the knowledge, skills and attitude needed in a liberal, progressive, and scientific society as pledged in our Rukunegara?

Because we have allowed the leaders of the 80s to be intoxicated by the festival of "better ideas" brought by the Iranian Revolution of 1979 and the rise of the Egyptian Ikhwanul Muslimin (Brotherhood of Islam in Egypt) to haunt the minds of our children? And have we failed to stop Islamists and their zealous youth leaders from spewing their demand for an "Islamic State”, whatever that means, then and now?

What then must we do to stop the advancement of anti-humanist ideas that will destroy the secular, liberal, multicultural fabric of our country?

AZLY RAHMAN is an educator, academic, international columnist, and author of seven books. He grew up in Johor Baru and holds a Columbia University doctorate in International Education Development and Master’s degrees in five areas: Education, International Affairs, Peace Studies Communication, and Creative Writing. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and his blog.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.