My daughter has come of age. No, no… she isn’t going to be sacrificed or getting married or anything like that. She is five years old this year and that means it is time when we as parents begin the registration process for her to start standard one in primary school.

The most obvious step is to first scout the schools that are around the area we live in. There are two primary schools where we live and so my wife and I decided to pay them a visit. We wanted to a look at the school our little girl could be going to once she turns seven.

The first school we went to was a big one. Location-wise, it was perfect - only a five-minute drive from the house. We parked our car and walked up to the security guard house and said we were parents and wanted to meet with the principal.

The guard told us to sign in, handed us a pass and pointed us in the direction of the office. We headed straight to the second floor, exactly where the guard told us to go and according to the aptly-placed signs.

We approached the counter and the clerk who was sitting there.

“Assalamualaikum. Our daughter is five years old and we’re thinking of registering her in this school. Would it be possible for us to meet with the principal to have a chat?” I asked.

Before the clerk could answer, a teacher who was walking out of the office suddenly stopped and stared at us.

“This is a school! It is not a place for people to come and visit!” she said rather harshly.

“But I want to. My daughter might be coming to this school and I just want to… (check it out),” I said, annoyed.

My wife saw that I was getting agitated so she butted in and spoke very politely.

“We understand. We just want to familiarise ourselves with the school. We can even come on a weekend if that is more convenient,” she smiled.

“No, a school is not a place for visiting!” the teacher said again before walking out the door.

My wife and I stared at each other. We then looked at the clerk and reiterated that we wanted to meet the principal. The clerk was nice and polite. She told us to wait while she went inside to check with the principal.

About five minutes later, she came out.

“I’m sorry. The principal said that we don’t do that here,” she apologised.

My wife and I thanked her and left the school grounds. When we were in the car, we discussed what had transpired. Of course, we thought the teacher was rude and we were a bit surprised that the principal would not meet with us. Put simply, we were upset.

The other school

We drove to the other primary school in the area. The location was also quite ideal for us and was just a few minutes from our house. This school was much smaller and seemed like it had fewer students.

Again after registering with the guard, we headed to the school’s office. It looked the same as the one in the first school. There was a clerk at the counter and we told her our intentions. She went inside and after a few minutes, a gentleman appeared.

“Hello. I’m the assistant principal. I’m sorry the principal is not around because he is on medical leave, but I can try to assist you in any way I can,” he smiled.

We told him that we might want to register our daughter here and we were just wondering if we could find out more about the school. He smiled and said that we were doing the right thing because our child’s education was at stake.

We had a good chat. He told us the demographics of the students, academic performance and also the extra-curricular activities that the school organises. The school has yet to achieve ‘Sekolah Berprestasi Tinggi’ or ‘Sekolah Kluster’ status but they have a strategy.

He asked us about our daughter’s interests and also her strengths and weaknesses. He then made recommendations on the kind of activities and clubs she could join so that her interests would be served. We liked what we heard and saw.

We thanked the assistant principal profusely for spending time with us. He assured us that if we had any other questions, we should not hesitate to call him. He shook our hands and we left the school.

My wife and I understand that we can never find a school that is 100 percent perfect and exactly to our liking. But we do want our daughter to go to a school that is good enough overall and gives us peace of mind.

We know that most public schools are very lopsided when it comes to racial demographics. The two schools that we visited had 80 percent Malays or more compared to other races. Ideally, we prefer a more balanced mix.

We also want a school where students get good grades and participate actively in extra-curricular activities. But the two schools in our area are average (or probably even slightly below average) in its academic and extra-curriculum performance.

Nevertheless, for most of these criteria, we can overlook them to a certain extent. What my wife and I consider important is the overall attitude of the teachers and the entire school. We felt very slighted by how the teacher in the first school treated us and that the principal declined to meet us.

The second school didn’t exactly comfort us when it came to academic performance, but if the assistant principal’s attitude is anything to go by, then at least the students would be surrounded by teachers who care and are dedicated. Academic performance will probably improve over time.

The thought of sending our daughter to another school that is not in our area did enter our minds. But we’re not too keen in having her spend too much time on the commute as it would tire her out every day. It wouldn’t be fair.

Of course, private school is another option. But as loyal and voting citizens and taxpayers, it wouldn’t be fair. Why should my wife and I have to even consider private school when attending public school should be our guaranteed right as Malaysians?

So now my wife and I are in a dilemma. We have yet to decide on which school to send our daughter. It seems like our decision-making has come to which one of the lesser evil we will have to contend with. Or maybe we are just being too kiasu with our first-born. Sigh.

ZAN AZLEE is a writer, documentary filmmaker, journalist and academic. He went to school when he was a child and would like the same for his children, too. Visit FATBIDIN.COM to view his work.