From hate-preaching kindergartens, to Umno Baru universities. From proposed Zakir Naik research centres, to African students running drug mules at local universities. From courses in witchcraft, to money-spinners like hysteria control-kits being marketed by university professors.

Count yourself lucky that you are not an Orang Asli, a Sabahan or a Sarawakian living in the interior. Some parents wave goodbye to their Christian teenager, only to welcome home a tudung-clad daughter who has purportedly embraced Islam.

The three Rs are considered by many teachers to be the fundamentals of education. These are reading, writing, and arithmetic. Whilst most schools teach their young, by focusing on these 3Rs, Umno Baru has decided that their cradle-to-grave approach using their version of the 3Rs of race, religion and the rulers, can further its dominance in Malaysian politics.

How do you influence very young children and get them to think the way you want? It’s easy. You sway young and impressionable minds with play. This way, you translate cold hard facts into something which affects their playtime.

Last week, most parents were horrified to see photos of kindergarten boys brandishing toy guns, in simulated war games, standing beside little girls in full Islamic robes. Behind them stood a gun-toting teacher in full black hijab.

Bukit Aman Special Branch claimed that they had been monitoring this kindergarten, the Tadika Hidayah Bestari in Bandar Sri Damansara, since last year. They said that this was part of the Royal Malaysian Police’s (PDRM) efforts to curb the grooming of child soldiers in kindergartens nationwide.

The headmistress claimed that the controversial photo was from a 2014 play, in which the children were performing a scene from the Palestine-Israel conflict. The school said that plays are held annually, in partnership with the NGO, the Malaysian Consultative Council of Islamic Organisations (Mapim), to raise funds for war victims in Palestine and Syria.

Why has the Education Ministry not taken action against schools which preach hatred? Did the teachers in this kindergarten distinguish between anti-semitism, anti-Zionist and anti-Israel? Will the children be able to understand the subtle nuances, when most adults are flummoxed by these?

Most Malays have never met a Jew, but already, Malay and Malaysian children are poisoned by the official anti-semitism line. How did the teachers explain the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? It is a complex issue and many people will not have heard about the Balfour Declaration. Some Malaysian adults don't even know about the holocaust.

One wonders if the teachers attempted to explain the terrorist activities of the militant Hamas group. What did the teachers say about Muslims killing Muslims in Syria and Yemen? Is it right to corrupt young minds with violence and venom?

Schools which radicalise vulnerable minds should not be allowed to remain open. Have the parents no say about their children being groomed? Children should be taught compassion, love, respect and tolerance. They should celebrate diversity and respect people of other faiths. Mahdzir Khalid, the Education Minister, who once blamed Jews and Christians for dividing Muslims, has not issued a statement about this matter. Does he condone this sort of teaching?

At the other end of the Malaysian educational scale, the Mentri Besar of Kedah, Ahmad Bashah Md Hanipah, declared that everything he needed to know had been learnt from The University of Umno Baru. (TUUB).

He is right. The TUUB undergraduate need not have a formal education nor complete secondary schooling. If he wants to pass with First Class Honours, he need only become a ‘yes’ man to a senior politician.

Array of interesting courses

An array of interesting courses is available from TUUB. He could read a combined politics and religious course, like mixing religious fanaticism with fascism. Or he could read a politics course and learn how to turn a new and fully functioning democracy into a banana republic.

In TUUB’s economics degree, he could excel in money-laundering and making money appear at by-elections, state elections, and general elections. He could do a post-graduate course in how to earn millions, without any effort. At post-graduate level, he could learn how to avoid tax for the billions of ringgits he makes.

In sociology, he could learn how to divide people and destroy harmonious race relations. The undergraduate could also learn how to make hundreds of thousands of people appear from nowhere and vote.

Likewise, in bomoh-logy, he could learn how to summon the dead to vote.

Whilst most universities offer courses in Environmental Pollution Control, he could learn how to pollute the environment,and make rivers, seas and lands turn red, as in Kuantan. He could learn how to turn water blue, like the Tasik Biru in Bau or the waterways around Raub.

In law, the undergraduate learns how to avoid the rule of law, how to amend laws and how to lie through one’s teeth.

Having an education in Malaysia is an extraordinary affair. You learn how to be street smart, learn about middle-eastern politics, albeit a one-sided version, and most of all, you learn how to be a politician. At the very least, you will learn how to be a crony or a political aide.

MARIAM MOKHTAR is a defender of the truth, the admiral-general of the Green Bean Army and president of the Perak Liberation Organisation (PLO). Blog, Twitter.