In this world, there is an X matter, which is most difficult to find. But I often hear of this X. However, from the time I was just a kid till now - from the 20th to early 21st century - I have never been able to find it. What I have been searching for is a ghost.

I have heard of all types of ghosts - pontianak, hantu raya (Raya ghost), hantu kopek, squirter ghost, jembalang tanah, evil spirit, water wraith; even ghosts which live in hills, trees and rocks.

Strange stories about the X ghost wandering about are amazing, but don't be surprised that there are aspects of X that are stranger and more amazing. Stranger than human beings with civet cat fur. More amazing than a cat giving birth to squirrels. More miraculous than Ajaib Singh.

The miraculous X incidents all took place at the birth of the reformasi movement - in early September 1998. I cannot accept that Malays forget easily.

I think the past six years is too short for us to forget or to become oblivious. I can accept that there are some Malays who forget to pay their telephone bills, to repay their Mara loans or where Lorong Haji Taib is located. But when confronted with the strange story of X, no Malay can ever forget it.

The strange tale, which I would like to recount is about Senorita X from Mexico. The existence of this Senorita X has been reported by all the mainstream papers. It is official news, not something I gleaned from Laman Mahazalim (a reformasi website) or Harakah. The existence of Senorita X was acknowledged by the prime minister at the time.

Mexican senorita

If our prime minister said she existed, then surely the existence of this Senorita X has been confirmed. I do not question the existence of the senorita - who am I to challenge what the PM said ... that's dangerous!

But I would like to know whether the senorita flew to Malaysia on Malaysia Airlines (MAS) or with Biman Airways. It is important to me, because if the senorita flew with MAS, then it is likely that she is a genuine resident of Mexico. That will not pose any problems.

But if the senorita had arrived in Damansara Heights after flying with Biman Airways, then I am suspicious. Very likely the Senorita X is actually a Bangladeshi girl posing as Senorita X from Mexico.

This view of mine has grounds. More than a week after the existence of Senorita X was reported in the newspapers, there was still no report that the senorita had been detained by the immigration department for visa violations.

As a rakyat living under the Jalur Gemilang, I was furious. My patriotic blood boiled because the foreigner was doing something different from what she had declared as the reason for her visit to the land of Malaysia Boleh. To me, that was a serious offence.

The senorita had been reported to be here as a visitor. Why had she agreed to be sodomised? Lawat (visit) and liwat (sodomy) may sound somewhat similar, but they have entirely different meanings. Why was the immigration department so lazy?

1998 was Tahun Melawat Malaysia (Visit Malaysia Year) featuring the Commonwealth Games, not Tahun Meliwat Malaysia (Malaysian Sodomy Year).

Why has the Tourism Ministry not protested? Why has the Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka, so full of Malay nationalists and headed by a former head of the Universiti Malaya Malay Language Society, not said a word about the matter? All this is most amazing to me.

Genuine girl

At the start of Anwar's trial, I had waited for the senorita to emerge. I wanted to compare her beauty with that of Naomi Campbell, the model who once declined my marriage proposal. When the senorita was not called to testify in court, that was proof that the senorita was not a genuine Mexican girl, but a Bangladeshi trying to pass herself off as one.

But a Bangladeshi and a Mexican are not very different from each other. Mexicans are fond of illegally entering the US, while Bangladeshis similarly target Malaysia. That's the truth. I think it is not a crucial matter whether it was a senorita from Mexico or a Bangladeshi.

A question which continues to haunt me is where has Senorita X vanished to? What is her name? Was her fee been settled with pesos, dinars, dirhams, ringgit or US dollars? Why has she not been charged in court? Why has local investigative TV programme Edisi Siasat not investigated the matter? All this has amazed me.

The story of Senorita X is as exciting as the story about the Indian girl working as a secretary, a story which is also amazing. We were informed by the mainstream media that the Indian girl had been taken to the prime minister's office on a night before the Umno supreme council was to meet.

Several Menteris Besar and Supreme Council members, including Abdul Ghani Othman (photo), had interviewed the Indian girl, and found out that she had committed adultery with Anwar. The next day, Anwar was dismissed.

Ha ha ha - what made this an X story was that according to press reports, the Indian girl had ugly, hairy legs. The scary story angered me. To me, the 'Indian girl with hairy legs' statement was racist and sexist.

The Indian girl

Why have the older Indians from MIC not defended their right to shave hairy legs? Where have the young ladies from the NGOs that fight for women's rights hidden themselves? Those are questions that I still haven't found answers to till this day.

When I read about the Indian girl, I got angry. Since then, I have stopped shaving my own legs to make myself look more handsome. I became a feminist and vowed to defend the right of women to have hairy legs. Viva hairy legs! Boycott the razor!

There is another X story which made my head spin. The tale took place in a hotel in Petaling Jaya. From what I have read, Anwar Ibrahim stole into a room in the hotel wearing a wig as a disguise. Just like a scene from the Alfred Hitchcock film, Mamie.

From what I know, there are only three people in Malaysia known to the public as wearers of wigs. All of them are well-known personalities. The first is S Samy Vellu, the second, my old friend Aziz Sheikh Fadzir's elder brother, and the third, Dr Siti Hasmah.

What amazed me was the source of Anwar's wig. It is not likely that he bought it himself as he is not bald. Wigs are not normally sold to those who are not bald.

Did Anwar borrow it from my friend's brother? No likely. This is because my friend's brother is the glamorous sort. He does not want his bald head ever to be seen by the media and foreign tourists.

So too with Samy Vellu. As a minister, it was not likely that he would loan out his wig. Not classy to do so. What's more, from my careful observations, Samy Vellu's head is not the same size as Anwar's.

The wig

So, that leaves Siti Hasmah's wig. Here the X story of the wig gets stranger. From news reports, several minutes after Anwar had been detained, Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail drove a car away from Damansara Heights. Where was she heading?

At this stage, the X story gets murky - made murky by the rumours that Wan Azizah went to see Siti Hasmah. Did Wan Azizah go to return the wig, which Anwar had borrowed? To this day, I am still looking for the wig that Anwar wore while stealing into the hotel room.

And the story which is most X of all the strange tales, is the one about Anwar's 'gang bang' video. I am reluctant to admit that I am a porno fan. But the truth is my pornographic collection is huge. From books magazines, pictures, 8mm film, videos to VCDs and DVDs - I have collected them all.

My porno VCD and DVD collection, if arranged side by side, can definitely stretch three stories high. From my primary school days, I have had the ambition to have my name in the Malaysian Guinness Book of Records as the owner of the largest porno VCD collection in Malaysia.

So, when I read about the existence of Anwar's X video, I headed off straight away to get a copy. Speaking as a porno film fan, I think that video will surely become a classic like I am Curious Yellow, Thundercrack, Caf Flesh and Sembilu.

Like Saddam Hussein, I sent my agents everywhere to look for that video X. They asked in every corner, from roadside stalls to the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange. My agents only returned with information that 'people have heard of so and so watching that video X'.

Private collection

But my agents never managed to meet someone who had actually seen the video. I also failed to get my hands on a copy of the video to add to my private collection.

I was once told by a former independent candidate for the parliamentary seat of Bukit Bintang that he had heard from a good friend of his that a famous woman, who was a good friend of Zaleha Ismail, had watched the video X together with Zaleha.

But that was only a story from someone who failed to win the MP position he had contested. He himself had not watched the video.

The closest I ever got to the video was when I was told that an Old Boy of MCKK, who was also a grandson of the Sultan of Kelantan, has not only watched the video X, but had a copy of it.

Through the MCKK grapevine, I had managed to locate that grandson of the Sultan. Ha ha ha, this is truly an X story. Supposedly, the video had been sent to London. Why, how, had the video X been sent to London? To this day, I have not been able to find the answer.

I have brought up all these X aspects, though not to ensure that I will be made the Bangsar division head of Parti Keadilan Rakyat [PKR]. If I had ambitions to become a YB, I would have started a new PKR division - not in Bangsar but in Munich, Germany.

I think my chances to become a YB is much better if I was politically active in Munich.

I've brought up these X stories because I feel that there are still many matters which have not been resolved. I do not agree with the idea that what is past is past. In this matter, I don't wish to have the Malay 'never mind' attitude.

When serious matters, which threaten the nation are involved, such as the existence of porno videos, I behave like a westerner - study and examine a phenomenon until I can come up with the answer.

Reformasi X

I feel that my search for X is like what Dr Hans Blix must have gone through when he was tasked by the United Nations to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. What he found were only weapons of mass deception. Lies upon lies.

Story upon story. Twisting of facts. All intended to sway public opinions. A weapon of mass destruction aimed at trapping the people of the world into agreeing to attack Iraq. A story of reformasi X aimed at persuading the rakyat of this nation to allow themselves to continue being robbed by Dr Mahathir Mohamad's cronies.

For me to find this reformasi X is just like looking for a ghost. I always hear of so-and-so meeting a ghost.

Unfortunately, it was not a first-hand account; I did not speak to the person who met the ghost. I have never come across a ghost, and still yearn to do so. I am still looking for someone who can take me to meet a ghost.

If possible, I would really like to see a hantu kopek (stripper ghost). From what I have been told, this type of ghost is really well-endowed - it is called hantu kopek because it has breasts as large as pillows.

Maybe hidden behind this hantu kopek is a copy of the visa of the senorita from Mexico, Anwar's wig, and the name and address of the Indian girl with the hairy legs.

To add to my collection of porno VCDs, it may be better for me to just sit and have a drink in the Telawi area of Bangsar. In no more than 10 minutes, a vendor will surely come to my table.

Perhaps I may finally find a copy of Anwar's video X or the excessive reformist VCD. And that is my tale, as a true connoisseur of porno VCDs.