I am saddened by how badly non-Malays are treated in our country. Dr Loo Voon San and Manora's viewpoints, I think, reflect the feelings of the majority of non-Malays, which is truly depressing.

I consider myself fortunate that I have not lived the racially-exclusive life many Malaysians seem to have. I grew up in Penang, occasionally hung out in Lembah Pantai with a bunch of Chinese, Indian, Malay and mixed-race friends. My best friends since primary school are Chinese.

I spent two years in a big university in the Midwestern US. I saw that government-sponsored Malay students tended to stick together, as did the non-Malays who came from private colleges. However, when they all lived in the university dorms, the level of integration increased.

I know Malays who dated Chinese for a long time, only to have the relationships dissolve when they got back to Malaysia. So, in answer to Manora's question, yes, Malaysians do integrate to some extent when they are in foreign universities. There, it is neutral ground, free from parents' and society's skewed perceptions of race and relationships.

Unfortunately, true integration faces strong societal opposition in our country. My own father was

vehemently opposed to my brother's relationship with a Chinese girl. This, despite him having encouraged us kids to have non-Malay friends all throughout our school days. It seems many of us draw the line somewhere at how integrated we are willing to be.

So, Manora, and all other Malaysians out there, ask yourselves how much you personally, are contributing to racial integration in our country. Are you prepared to shed cultural misconceptions and fears about religious conversions? Are you generous enough to forgive some people for their racist remarks and not presume "they are all like that"?

Government policies have done a miserable job at promoting true integration among Malaysians. It is we, the citizens, who have to change our attitudes and pro-actively seek people of different races to be our friends and colleagues. Racism can be greatly reduced with a sincere, collective effort from all of us.