Anonymous Academician (Polygamy better than illicit affairs) concluded that it is better for a man to have a second wife and legitimate children than a mistress and illegitimate children.

This shows that, there are people who argue that having a second wife is better if it stops a person from having a mistress. Nevertheless, here lies a deterrent factor. We are comparing the relative evil of polygamy to that of keeping a mistress.

The key word here is relative. One cannot deny that keeping a mistress is an evil act. At the very least, it is evil to the wives. Thus, is polygamy an evil too — albeit a lesser one as some (read Anonymous Academician) might suggest?

Regardless of the answer, taking it to the extreme, it can be argued that mistresses are easier to dump. It may involve emotional, psychological and physical pain. Sometimes grief strikes at the bank balance too. But we are talking about a man and his mistress here. Extra-marital escapades are costly and if he cannot afford it, he should not have indulged in it. These costs serve as a deterrent to such immorality. The marriage on the other hand, can still be saved if the wife is forgiving and the man is repentant.

When a man enters into a marriage, first time or otherwise, he is entering into a legally binding contract. It is thus not as easy to divorce a second/third/fourth wife. On countless occasions men have argued that this cannot be done as they have to be responsible.

But this argument becomes thin when we realise the fact that the core problem arises out of his irresponsibility to the first wife and the first set of children. Marrying a second time without the approval of the first wife, amounts to cheating. He is practically cheating the first wife and in the case of Perlis, cheating the law.

The Malaysian way now seems to be, the first wife finds out and succumbs. The second wife becomes a permanent fixture in the man's life. The first marriage thus ends in tatters.

In future, Malaysian women will become increasingly independent and empowered. We cannot close an eye to the fact that in developing countries, polls have shown that an increasing number of women indulge in extra-marital affairs. When the time comes, will we then argue that a woman should be allowed to have four husbands? Perhaps not.