The Penang Outer Ring Road (Porr) is the most expensive road in Malaysian history, the most elaborate and technologically advanced, the most difficult to build and perhaps the most controversial as well: truly the Lord of the Ring Roads. The One Ring Road that will bind them all?

For those of us LOTR1 and LOTR2 fans who have also seen the other recent ring horror movie, the word ring has taken on new connotations of other worldly forces wreaking havoc on mortal men and hobbits. This cannot escape the attention of our elected representatives as two of them have already faced the swift wrath of the powers of the ring road alliance. These two are now in suspended animation (somewhat like the nazgul?) while awaiting further retribution for their incredible folly of not voting mindlessly as required.

Unholy alliances are being forged and the political shadow play (wayang kulit) and maneuvering is gaining momentum to smother all opposition to the One Ring Road (the Saruman and Sauron forces at work?). Silent majorities are being asked to declare their stand: you are either with or against the One Ring Road. The Ring Master, at the behest of the Puppet Master, trots out opinion survey results that show that the vast majority of the people of Penang are not only deliriously thrilled about the prospects of driving on the Ring Road but they are also more than willing to dole out wads of cash every day for that perverse pleasure.

At the same time, gentle appeals are being made to the unenlightened and misguided minority who oppose the One Ring Road to see the truth and accept the benefits of the project to all mankind and Penang (Middle Earth). The example of our freaky neighbours down south (the ones who drink from their toilets and fight over rocks in the sea) is quoted: even they have succumbed to the powers of Ring Roads, so why not you?

And so the battle for the One Ring Road rages with the dark forces aligned against a bunch of hobbits (who will lose their homes) and the fellowship of the anti-Ring Road groups. While we await the third and final part of the movie, the real life battle is sure to take new twists and turns in 2003.

Will the One Ring Road get tossed into the campaign fires of the coming general elections? Or will the unholy alliances behind the One Ring Road unravel as the glue of avarice and political fortunes gradually dissolves under the heat of public scrutiny? Will the Fellowship of the Anti-Ring Road triumph and Middle Earth have a safe, efficient, sustainable transport system?