There is no limit to the obscenely ostentatious display of wealth amongst Malaysia's newly rich. Consider weddings, in particular Malay weddings. They have become a modern version of the old potlatch rituals of the Northwest Indians of America, with each event becoming even more gaudy and lavish than previous ones.

The recent society wedding of jailed ex-deputy premier Anwar Ibrahim's daughter was only the latest.

Like the earlier extravaganza for Deputy Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi's daughter, the celebration involved the entire 'village' and dragged on for days, with the bride and groom literally taking to heart their traditional role as Raja se Hari (royal couple for the day).

These gala Malay nuptials with guests that numbered in the thousands easily exceeded that of Prince Charles and Diana - at least they had only one reception.

Now that Anwar and Badawi have set a new high-water mark for their princesses, I shudder to imagine what the next real royal Malay wedding will be like.

Expensive gifts

Like the native American potlatch ceremonies of yore, the orgy of expensive gifts proffered at these weddings is with every expectation that they will be reciprocated in some form or other in the future.

It took an unsympathetic US government to ban the wasteful practice among the Indians. With Malays, there will be no such restraint, the change must therefore come from within.

Sadly, I see no movement from that direction, thus do not expect an end to the ever-increasing showiness that is the Malay wedding.

The Malay masses may be forgiven for our confusion. On the one hand, we are told ad nauseam by our leaders to be frugal, save for our children's education, and generally be berdikari (self- reliant), yet the powerful and rich among us continue with their vulgar displays of wealth.

All these while they and their family are busy pigging at the public trough. Indeed for most, that is their only source of affluence.

Bumiputera wannabe

Lest readers think that I am being unfairly hard on Malays, consider the equally flamboyant and garish affair put on by MIC president and Works Minister Samy Vellu for his son only a few years earlier.

This bumiputera wannabe has learned only too well the wasteful ways of the Malays.

Malaysian weddings have less to do with celebrating the commitment a young couple has made to spend the rest of their lives together, rather an occasion for their parents to display their social status and discharge their business and other obligations.

Guests are not so much those who have shared in the lives of the bride and groom rather their parents' business associates, superiors and notables. Typically the wedded couple barely knows the guests.

It is now trendy to invite diplomats, ministers and members of the royalty, all in an effort to display the host's supposed social prominence. The whole occasion becomes overshadowed by the presence of these special guests, with the bride and groom reduced to being mere appendages.

The wedding day is special, to be cherished by the couple long after the guests have departed. For the bride especially, it is an occasion she has dreamed of all her life and spent countless hours and thousands of ringgit to make it perfect.

What she does not need on her own very special day is to be upstaged by some pompous dignitaries.

Mercantile exchange

Malay weddings are also endlessly drawn out. There is not just one celebration, rather at least three or four. First is the betrothal. This used to be rather perfunctory but today it has become ever more lavish and elaborate.

Typically the groom's family would come bearing gifts of not just perfumes and jewelry but actual cold cash. The colorful ringgit notes of high denominations are prominently displayed in intricate floral and other designs, an attempt at some poor imitation of an ikebana arrangement.

The whole affair is reduced to a mercantile exchange, but instead of goats and buffaloes as the price for the bride, real money. Malays have apparently been swept by modernity, but not modern enough as yet to discover cheques.

My own wedding - oh, so many decades ago - cost me a mere RM49, the traditional dowry specified in our adat (custom). Alas, the Malay wedding world has been swept in an inflationary cycle. Back then a ringgit was a real ringgit.

After the betrothal is the akad nikah, the actual exchange of wedding vows (an elaborate event by itself) followed by not just one but multiple bersanding ceremonies, first hosted by the bride''s family and then the groom's.

With many Malays now having multiple wives (the culture has effectively reduced marriageable women to trophies, with marriage akin to collecting cars or some other equally expensive and highly visible toys) it is not uncommon to have separate ceremonies, one given by the father and another by the mother. Imagine the exponential increase in the number of ceremonies!

With so many rites and celebrations, the frustrated young couple is left wondering when exactly the whole damn thing would be over and they could be left alone and start 'doing it'!

Youthful fantasies

Having recently put on a wedding (only one reception!) for my daughter, I know how expensive these affairs can be.

I also know how much Malaysian ministers and civil servants earn (at least their honest income!), so it baffles me as to how they can put on such lavish affairs.

I find even more tasteless the present fad of aging middle-aged men putting on sumptuous weddings for their second (and often third and fourth!) bride. All in a desperate attempt at reliving their youthful fantasies!

In America, such libertine Don Juans would end up in jail, but with leaders unabashedly proclaiming Malaysia to be an Islamic state, the taking of multiple wives is not only permitted but also viewed as an expression of personal piety.

Combine this with the clamouring royal wannabes and social climbers, rest assured there will be no end to the extravaganza that is the Malay wedding.