One of my life lessons in being Muslim is, don't count o­n your fellow Muslims to defend you, your work or your views if somehow you are perceived as a non-conformist to mainstream views. If you go out o­n a limb, you are mostly o­n your own.

I cite o­ne example from a recent past. Abu Sulayman, then rector of the International Islamic University of Malaysia (IIUM) told me that my contract as a law lecturer (I was a documented migrant worker), would not be renewed in July 1992 as "my dress was not Islamic".

This, after seven years of teaching law to hundreds of young people, most of whom are Malaysians. I had no such notice of my purportedly "unIslamic dress" since 1984. I understood the dress code of IIUM and respected that code as did many Muslims, non-Muslim students and lecturers.

No o­ne came to my defence, not even my colleagues of some seven years. I must confess that in a moment of utter disbelief for being isolated for this kind of attack, I sent a letter to a faculty officer citing the faculty's impotence in the situation. Nothing. Maybe it is just fear all around, of losing jobs and positions, of being "tainted" by association.

I remember that moment in the rector's office. My first concern was not even dress. That was
the least of my concern. I still remember my first question to the learned rector who hailed
from Saudi Arabia; if any complaint has been lodged as to the quality of my teaching from any of the students (past and present) or faculty members. There was none; my teaching was excellent.

Make no mistake that some Muslims in this country would not go for the jugular o­n Muslim women's dress.

I have no disrespect for any kind of dress allegedly Islamic or otherwise, because that to me is not the measure of a person's dignity, worth or piety (taqwa). If I do not use a tudung, it is not a disrespect for women who do wear versions of head covering. If I do wear a tudung, I am not disrespecting women who do not wear o­ne.

I believe that Muslim dress in whatever material, length and colour Muslim women choose, is a political decision. Women have political choices and any decision women make o­n dress is a right choice.

Uncommon indecency

In the last months of my ouster I had occasion to receive complaints from students, majority of whom are female, that members of the student representative council (SRC) had entered their locked dorms and removed personal items such as dolls, teddy bears, pictures, photographs and personal letters.

There was no attempt to make an inventory of confiscated items. The owners said that some of the personal letters were kept in locked drawers. You would think that any reasonable person (of whatever religious persuasion and philosophy) would be perturbed by these acts of uncommon indecency.

They told me that they had seen the (then) dean of student affairs who is responsible for the SRC, but to no avail. Most of the local students saw no point in questioning these trespasses and have advised the complainants not to 'rock the boat', or be 'difficult'. Just study and get out.

These young complainants entertained the view that perhaps these acts of invasion of privacy, was sanctioned by university authorities as no action was taken against the confiscators of private property.

There is a longer story to this as I had acted and advised as my conscience dictates. I have kept all the correspondence between the university authorities and myself where amongst others, a letter issued by the then deputy rector denounced me as "lacking in tawhid" (the belief in the o­ne God). I know that I am not alone in this experience at IIUM. I pray to God that these persecutions are not repeated.

'Damning evidence'

In recent days, we read o­n the Net and in mainstream newspapers, which get to cover the event at the Second International Muslim Leaders' Conference o­n HIV/AIDS (IMLC II), of allegedly "damning evidence" against Dr Amina Wadud. She is a woman scholar and theologian, who was invited to speak at the conference. Her work and her ideas o­n exegesis (tafasir) are known and cited in academic and activist circles.

Dr Amina Wadud (photo left) is a very dear friend. I am proud of my friendship and association with Amina. She is African American and I came to know this very wonderful spiritual person while teaching at IIUM. She left IIUM earlier than I. I must say that she is o­ne of the very few Muslims in Malaysia then who had inspired me to remain steadfast in my iman.

We were in conversation hours before her paper went to print. Her work o­n the issues of vulnerability, women and HIV/AIDS is a work in progress. I believe that she made a decision to exclude portions of her larger work for purposes of expediency. In hindsight, the exclusion of her section o­n the appropriate Qur'anic response, costs her.

Most participants were shocked by the vehemence of those opposed to her. I caught sight of participants in tears. I will remember the face of male doctor (residing in the UK) in front of me, shouting with flaying arms, accusing Amina of being "a devil in hijab".

I think at least o­ne Malaysian Muslim doctor jumped into the fray and accused Amina of blasphemy. The others in this noisy group were mainly Muslims of Middle-East origin (some
living in the 'West' and a handful of African Muslims). All were male except o­ne. The latter, had the temerity to proclaim that she is speaking as "the perfect example of a Muslim woman" before denouncing Amina!

When the organisers decided to allow a session the next day to address the unhappiness, more time was taken by the same people to make the same denouncements. It was most unfortunate that Amina was not given adequate time to make a proper response or clarification to the accusations levelled against her arising from what she had presented and written.

I think Amina appreciated the constraints of the organisers and took the cue from her hosts. She observed the proper adab (decorum) as an invited speaker and did not jump into the fray and hold court as and when some fellow Muslim levelled accusations against her or even when several of them decided to make unilateral pronouncements o­n her faith in Islam.

Muslim women and HIV/AIDS

Amina's decision to withdraw her paper was done out of her respect for Muslim sufferers of HIV/AIDS which the conference sought to address. She understood that the space is not about Amina Wadud. I think she was saddened when pursuant to the fracas, Marina Mahathir (photo right) offered her resignation as chairperson of the organising committee of IMLC II.

Amina had no problems pulling out her paper (but not her ideas), if her paper was the source to
distract the conference from addressing the realities of the pandemic among Muslims who are stigmatised, discriminated and made vulnerable by HIV/AIDS. Her apology was made to the sufferers of HIV/AIDS who were participants at the conference.

Amina is concerned for example, that our standard Muslim response in a discussion o­n HIV/AIDS - that o­ne must not approach zina, (laa taqrubina az-zinah) may not be appropriate when o­ne is speaking about faithful, monogamous wives and children infected with HIV. Monogamous Muslim women are not considered "high risk" but there are findings that the incidence of HIV infection among them is o­n the increase.

The reality compels Muslims to explore the reasons why married women are now prone to infection. Are Muslim women able to negotiate sex and safe sex? Are women considered recalcitrant and denied maintenance, if they refuse sex? What are the realities of women's lives and what are our cultural practices o­n decision-making between women and men in sexual relationships? Are Muslim women caught in a power relationship in a marriage?

At workshop sessions, participants provided input of beliefs among some Muslim men that sex with virgin girls would prevent infection. There is also another belief that women with wet vaginas are unfaithful women. In some places where this belief has prevailed, women are expected to take all kinds of herbal concoctions to keep themselves dry at the cost of infection to themselves. A woman told organisers that the "vagina" word should not appear in the proceedings!

The problems around practices in sexual relationships cannot be resolved by the mere reiteration of normative statements about Islamic principles. We are not developing a constructive discussion around fidelity and integrity in sexual relationships among Muslims by going into denial. Women sufferers of HIV/AIDS and experiences of women in relationships with men should not be excluded in developing a response to the pandemic.

Vulnerable groups

From conversations with participants, it appeared that advocates specifically from groups working with lesbians, bisexuals, gays and transgendered communities were not included in the First Muslim Leaders' Conference o­n HIV/AIDS held in Kampala some years ago. There were representations from these communities in IMLC II.

Dr Farid Esack from South Africa who spoke about sexual diversity and his work with vulnerable communities in his presentation, was not attacked in the recent conference. He made a comment in his presentation o­n the attack o­n Amina. He said that no o­ne had attacked Dr Ebrahim Moosa, another speaker who spoke about "medieval" attitudes in Islam.

Among the invited international speakers, o­nly Dr Farid Esack, Dr Riffat Hasan and Dr Ebrahim Moosa were open in their support for Amina. I do not recall seeing any of our local scholars from the various Muslim institutions invited to the conference making any intervention.

Perhaps Amina's presentation provided the earliest excuse for right-wing Muslims to mount an attack in a meeting of Muslims that included leaders from among positive Muslims, homosexuals and transgendered communities. Many of the 'denouncers' insisted that Muslim leadership is limited o­nly to the ulama (Islamic scholars). Presumably this does not also include women scholars like Amina Wadud.

At the last day of the conference the "perfect example of a Muslim woman" insinuated that certain sections of the communities made vulnerable by HIV/AIDS are not Muslims. Many participants including those stigmatised and discriminated by sexual choices and positive Muslims were visibly upset by this remark. Many participants including sections of young people walked out when the remark was made.

Imagining human dignity

In his paper, 'In the Search of an Ethics of Decency: Imagining Human Dignity in Islam', Moosa, talks about an a piori dignity which humans are first endowed at the time of creation. This dignity is not attained because o­ne deserves it nor is it forfeited because of an offence. It is God-given. The mere possession of this a priori dignity (karramna) makes a human worthy of respect, honour and preservation.

The other aspect of human dignity is personal dignity. This is sustained and nourished in human relationships. In the language of Muslim ethics, this is our social transactions (mu'amalat) that should always strive to fulfil the higher ends and values that sustain human dignity.

Moosa argues that the attainment of faith is almost conditional o­n some significant relationship with 'others' whether they are fellow believers or fellow humans.

"It may well be the case that in Muslim discourse, not to humiliate, is a good thing in itself. It is firmly linked to promoting dignity. The absence of humiliation is then dignity." If we revisit the premises of dignity in Islam, there is no room for stigma, discrimination and humiliation.

Muslims, says Farid Esack after engaging his audience with an anecdotal account of the good Muslim doctor who after hearing of a car crash, felt compelled to first don his kopiah (skull cap) so that the people know that he is Muslim and is providing aid to the victims from "an Islamic angle", are concerned first with moralising agendas than moral o­nes.

He says in part, "This says more about our own meanness of spirit, the limitations of our compassion and an inadequate appreciation of the diversity of our theological tradition."

Amen.