EYEWITNESS This is democratic Malaysia.

I shudder at the thought that it is obviously not. Not with the reaction of the government towards a mere figure of expression against what the government itself knows, which is one of the many reasons why Malaysia is unable to move forward in terms of the economical, social and political aspects of our country.

At 2pm today, Bersih 2.0 is going to stage a rally at Dataran Merdeka, for a fairer, cleaner, corruption-free Malaysia. Electronic voting, instead of ballot boxes and political transparency are among the agenda.

Sure, I might be pretty naive for buying into the "propaganda", as the government says. But even if it is not all honey and roses, I am all out for supporting the rights of people to voice out their opinions and outlook on matters that really have to be addressed.

It is really too early to tell whether the response is going to be as astounding as predicted. (A taxi driver whose cab I was in said 300,000 people are expected. But that was before the government unleashed its might to eradicate all means of hope for the rally.)

I was going to Sunway the previous night with a friend. I was indeed NONEshocked at the amount of traffic jams caused by the road blocks. Seriously, thousands of cars, people, families suffering.

Who knows maybe a few people might have even lost their lives from ambulances being unable to reach hospital in time. Businesses must have suffered as well. So many shops were forced to close. Do you have any idea how much damage you have caused by isolating the whole of Selangor?

Fear lies deep in the ones who have yet to be exposed. And to be honest, I don't really care what the turnout is going to be like.

Times are changing. We have the Internet now. A universal form of global communications. For once, people actually know that they are not alone.

The Internet-mental shackle breaker

Now, all I can really do is show my support for democracy through the Internet.

It's not every day that you find yourself under 18 years of age and amidst a crowd that is seeking justice and truth for a better future for your beloved country.

I'm having visions of Sejarah text book images as I write this. It's funny that we were forced to memorise pages and pages of Umno "menunjukkan demokrasi secara aman untuk kemerdekaan negara" when today, Bersih is deemed to be an illegal rally.

My biggest fear was that I would be arrested. My parents have brought me up to be a civilized person of responsibility and maturity, and although I am still a kid, I would always regret it if I disappoint them.

But deep in my heart, I felt that I should do what I could to help. There was this scenario that played in my mind, if everyone was going to be like me, scared and afraid of what was going to happen, would anyone show up? Would there have been any supporters?

Would there have been international global awareness and Malaysia's democracy issues being highlighted to the world as it is now?

No.

And so I went. And goodness, I was completely unprepared for it, not even close.

I made my way to the LRT station, wanting to meet my friend at KL Sentral, I didn't update myself on the news and so I was completely shocked as the LRT never stopped there.

When routine was shattered

I am from another state but I am studying in Petaling Jaya. So understandably, it was quite nerve-wracking on July 9, as I wasn't familiar with my way around KL. I assumed that Masjid Jamek and KLCC would definitely be closed, so I stopped at Dang Wangi.

As for the rest of the journey, I just followed the crowd. Walking on deserted streets in broad daylight on a Saturday in KL!

As I made my way towards a bridge with a river (I think heading to Pudu), this massive parade of people were all walking towards us, chanting "Bersih!" "Bersih!" and "Allah Akbar" (God is great in Arabic).

Most of them punching the air, signaling to me and a Chinese man next to me to join them. The wave of supporters mostly comprised Malay men.

I live in my own little community where Chinese and Indians amount to as many, if not more than the Malays therein, but on that Saturday, I came to realize that my race really was a minority. But you know what? It didn't matter. They accepted us just like how they accept anyone; a individual passionate about having a country that is BERSIH.

Electricity of purposeful mass gathering

The march went in glory mode, as if we were marching in some kind of revolution. Being this naive little girl, the excitement was exhilarating. It was amazing to be part of it.

Until the police.

About 30 of them blocked the road that we were supposed to pass through. We greatly outnumbered them by easily - 30 against 10,000.

I honestly thought with just a shove and a push, we could have cleared them. But something came into my mind - this was a peaceful rally, and it was amazing how no supporter resorted to violence aimed at the police. I can't say the same thing for them though.

NONETwo came out of their ranks and took out two big black guns. Before I could even wonder what was going to happen, canisters of tear gas were fired straight into the crowd. One landed right in front of me.

I was a sheltered girl. I never talk to strangers, came back on time when my mom told me too, and had Friday outings with my family. The word "CHAOS" was completely foreign to me.

The gas just pounded on my face, I couldn't breathe, and it only took seconds for tears from my eyes to reach my chin. My eyes were burning. I knew that if I didn't get out of that place, I could have easily fainted there.

The sting was excruciating for a girl like me who was never "at the wrong end of a fight" and it was through this situation that I experienced compassion. A few men holding packets of salt started putting salt onto our palms.

"Pedih-nya", I said
"Nah, garam, letaknya atas lidah".

Overpowering force against the weaponless

The sting was so powerful that even though this man had no more than about 20 ml of water in his mineral water bottle, I begged for the remainder to wash my face.

After that ordeal, I detached myself from the crowd in fear of being hit again. Instead, I became a pillar of moral support for those brave heroes and heroines who continued to march, again and again, tear gas after tear gas, chemical water spray after chemical water spray. I salute all you Wirabangsa!

I saw things that day that I can honestly say I never thought I would see in my life. Empty carless roads filled with FRU teams, policemen, and news reporters.

I even saw a Korean/Japanese reporter at the scene. FRU trucks swarming the entire area. Citizens getting arrested right and left, one by one. Their faces showed sadness but their eyes were still glowing.

There was a scenario whereby the arrested ones were already inside the truck but they still chanted in high spirits, and lifted up their fists at me and the other people who were at the road side. I couldn't help but wave my fists at them.

The great inhumane thing that happened that day for me was when the police, about 40 of them, marched into Tung Shin Hospital, to arrest people sheltering there. The screams and the sight of tear gas being released at the hospital grounds still play in my mind.

So first it is okay to treat us demonstrators like gangsters or criminals, but now you want to make the patients suffer too?

Losing sight of mission

It still puzzles me why they released tear gas in the hospital car park when they should have very well known that we never meant any harm to the patients or anyone else for that matter. I know I'm still a teenager but can you tell me when it is ever logical to act the way you did, FRU?

Do you know that you were the ones that were supposed to protect us? And assure our safety?

At the end of the day, I was stranded. After some scattering around and monorail riding (the LRT was officially shut down), I managed to get a taxi back home to my hostel.

Many stared at my soaked clothes, messy wet hair tied up in a yellow ribbon, and of course yellow shirt, which I had covered with my jacket. But I felt as if my duty was done. I did my part that day.

As I came back, tired and aching, with swells from the tear gas, I was overwhelmed by the events of the day and the personal and national impact.

The Internet went abuzz with news, as did international networks. I knew for a fact, the newspapers were going to be biased and maybe even anti-Bersih I predicted right) but it didn't matter, because we are living in an era of global communications.

We have the Internet now. No form of organised media can bring us NONEdown, because eventually the truth will be shown for all to see. And that is exciting, you know, to know that times really are changing and what used to be described as impossible seems to be possible.

Whether or not this rally was successful, we can conclude something.

A voice was heard, and I hope the government has listened to it. Because with all my heart, I hope that this is the start of a reformation.

Slowly, I hope that, Malaysia will be a country that can stand proudly as a country of freedom, of independence, and at the forefront of social, ethnic, economical and political status. There's a long way to go. But as long as there is a will, there is a way.

Negaraku Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku.

 

 

JENNY CHENG is an 18-year-old college student who has never felt this passionate about the changes happening in her country. She believes that her generation stand together in fighting for what they believe in and she hopes to register herself as a voter when she turns 21.

This series relates eyewitness accounts of the Bersih 2.0 July 9 rally in Kuala Lumpur for clean and fair elections. If you were there and have an interesting story to share, email us at editor@malaysiakini.com by Friday, July 22.