The vice-president of the Obedient Wives' Club (OWC), Rohaya Mohamad, cannot be living in the real world in saying that women should be whores in bed so that their husbands would not go astray. If only it were that simple.

Jerry Hall, the ex-wife of Mick Jagger of ‘The Rolling Stones' once remarked: "My mother said it was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit."

Alas, Jerry could not keep Mick ‘under control' for he bedded several women during his marriage to Jerry.

NONEWhy does Rohaya have to be sexist in this age of equality? Why think only of the man's needs? Don't women go astray too? What about the woman who tries her best to make her husband be intimate with her only to find that he won't, because he can only have sex with another man?

There is nothing more boring than a wife who is submissive and obedient. Men crave excitement and will not get that from a wife who is docile and pliable. They want something with a bit of spark and life. Hence, all those titillating lap and pole dancers. One does wonder what the sex lessons of the OWC entails.

Only sexual deviants or sexually perverted men with a vicious streak, want the submissive, compliant types, whose will they can bend.

But if the truth be known, a good percentage of men visit prostitutes because they want to talk. All these men want is someone who is prepared to listen to them.

PWW denounces club's emergence

Perak Women for Women (PWW) recently added its voice to oppose the formation of the OWC.

The PWW is a registered, apolitical, nonprofit NGO which was set up in 2003 to enhance the status and the lives of women in Perak regardless of race, religion or social background. The PWW provides support and assistance to women and children in the community who are victims of violence and discrimination.

According to the PWW, the formation of the OWC was completely irrelevant: "The OWC is an offshoot of the outlawed Al-Arqam cult and the OWC is only a cheap publicity stunt which has belittled and insulted the women's role as a wife."

NONE"It has also embarassed women by calling on them to behave like first class prostitutes to satisfy their husband's lust, reducing wives to mere sex slaves.

"This club should be called ‘The Stupid Wives Club.'"

The PWW disagreed that the OWC could cure social ills such as prostitution and divorce.

"Rohaya's assumptions are based on polygamous life experiences gained in her community where men take another wife if his sexual needs are not met by the previous wife."

PWW said it has come across many women who have been sexually abused by their husbands, making them feel degraded and suffering from low self-esteem.

According to the PWW, the divorce rates for Malays and non-Malays have increased equally. While 50 to 60 percent of marriages fail because of infidelity or extramarital affairs, there is no mention of the wife failing to be a first class prostitute at home.

"Marriage is viewed more as a partnership akin to a contract between two people," the PWW said. "A marriage is founded on the family and based on love, respect, and trust and is never a private prostitution."

The NGO feels that Rohaya's assumption that men are slaves to their sexual urges "not only degrades women but also men".

Opening up communication

In a bid to gain attention, both at home and abroad, the OWC enlisted an Umno leader to act as guest of honour at a mock wedding reception.

"The conservative-thinking simple-minded Muslim women might buy the OWC's ideology. They will eventually learn that marriage is not just sex, and sex is not marriage," the PWW said.

Mainstream Islam empowers women and men to conduct their marriages on the basis of mutual co-operation and respect, focusing on communication rather than submission.

The PWW does not believe that the OWC will solve any of the social ills that plague the Malay/Muslim community, in which men are superior to women.

"Learning to respect begins with acceptance. A harmonious home is founded on mutual respect, love and trust between the husband and wife".

MARIAM MOKHTAR is a non-conformist traditionalist from Perak, a bucket chemist and an armchair eco-warrior. In ‘real-speak', this translates into that she comes from Ipoh, values change but respects culture, is a petroleum chemist and also an environmental pollution-control scientist.