Are you sure you're ready to tackle this column right now? Absolutely positive you haven't something more pressing to do before you start reading the thing, like I tried convincing myself that I had before writing it?

No seemingly petty but nonetheless imperative tasks to perform first, like having a coffee or two, consulting your horoscope for the day, answering some emails, visiting a couple of your favourite websites and breaking for an early lunch like I did?

No? You're really, truly ready to roll?

There's no rush, you know. So if you're thinking how much fresher and more mentally alert you'd feel if you paused for a quick shower before you settle down to concentrate on what I have to say; or how much faster the Malaysiakini site might load if you defragmented your PC before proceeding, go right ahead.

I honestly don't mind waiting. I've procrastinated so long in producing this piece that a delay of another few minutes, hours or even days before you start perusing it won't make the slightest difference.

In any case, if and when you do get around to reading it right through, then you'll be stuck with the task of dreaming-up some other way to delay tackling whatever tiresome task you're keen to put off.

'Procrastination', as my dictionary reveals now that I've finally taken the trouble to consult it on the subject, derives from a combination of the Latin words 'pro' (forward) and 'crastinus' (tomorrow). No rush to finish this today, then.

So I've been taking time out for a little light Googling. One site I've stumbled on, procrastinationhelp.com, reveals a report by researchers Tim Pychyl and Jennifer Lavoie that 47 percent of the time spent by people on line is for the specific purpose of work-avoidance.

Paid to pretend to work

I could have told them that, though their figure of 47 percent seems a bit on the low side from what I've observed over the years of my own behaviour and that of my colleagues in various offices in which I've been paid to pretend to work.

As I see on quotegarden.com and other sites I must someday take the trouble to bookmark, lots of famous people have made decidedly disapproving remarks about postponing what needs to be done.

"Procrastination is the thief of time," for example, which I recall was a favourite of my old school Latin master and which, given his unaccountable enthusiasm for dead languages, I assumed to be a translation of a line by Ovid or one of those other ancient Romans who dedicated their careers to making future generations of schoolboys miserable.

But no, it was an English poet named Edward Young, apparently, who uttered the immortal line in 1742. A few Romans reputedly did proclaim on the topic of procrastination, however.

The poet Horace for one, who wrote, in Latin of course: "Seize the day! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think."

But this seems ambiguous to me, in that it could equally mean either seize the day and get some work done, or seize the day, forget work for now and have fun doing some random surfing.

Decidedly unambiguous, however, was Roman statesman Cicero's stern statement that "in the conduct of almost every affair, slowness and procrastination are hateful".

Other similarly negative remarks on the subject include "You may delay, but time will not" (Benjamin Franklin), and "Procrastination is opportunity's assassin" (Victor Kiam).

Then there are those that go even further to warn of the depressing consequences of delay, like "Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task" (William James) and the even more dispiriting "Every duty which is bidden to wait returns with seven fresh duties at its back" (Charles Kingsley).

Cynical sayings

The only ray of encouragement I can find for those of us who prefer to think - or resort to almost any other diversion - before ripping right in and getting our work done is Mark Twain's admonition to "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow".

Though I strongly suspect that Twain failed to follow his own advice, as he wrote many longer and far more famous books than I ever will and still found time to dream-up cynical sayings.

In fact after all my research into the subject of procrastination, and close examination of my own 'modus stoperandi', I realise that we writers are rank amateurs compared with those true masters of delaying tactics, Umno/BN politicians.

Not that they openly advocate procrastination. Quite the opposite. As the last part of their latest slogan, "1Malaysia. People First. Performance now." appears to claim, they have every intention of springing immediately into action.

Which they do, I must admit, when it's in their special interests. When citizens peacefully protest against the latest government atrocity, or when bloggers publish documents allegedly implicating them in criminal activities, they react with lightning speed.

But when it comes to performing such tedious chores as investigating suspicious deaths in police or MACC custody, or putting the recommendations of royal commissions into practice, or prosecuting cases of corruption by coalition members, supporters and cronies, they're capable of such astonishing feats of procrastination as to put us individual time-wasters to shame.

So, while these crooks play for time between now and the next general election, let's hope that the millions of Malaysian citizens who've been postponing their participation in the electoral process will finally get around to registering to vote.

Because however pro crastination many of us may be in our personal lives, there's no pretext for any more patience with being conned by the pernicious political procrastinations of Umno/BN.